This morning I woke up feeling good. Still a little scratchy in the throat and still a little red in the eye. I wanted to get a haircut this morning but decided that getting a haircut while recovering from an eye infection would not be fair to the stylist. I want to look good for my test tomorrow and my (hopefully soon-to-be) upcoming interviews so I think I’ll get a haircut tomorrow morning.

I was thinking about my grandpa today how he wants to be buried nearby where he lives now. It was important to him about 3 years ago when he took me to a tiny little church about 10-15 miles from his house and said that’s the yard he wanted to be put in. I don’t know if he’s thought about it since then. I remember thinking, they probably don’t just bury people strictly by request. They probably reserve that space for followers of the church. Nobody in our family attends that church. Or has ever attended that church as far as I know. It got me to wondering where my great-grandpa was buried and while trying to look it up I came across my great-grandma’s obituary. I also found records of a corporation my grandpa founded when he was in the forest service and several publications that my grandpa helped write on forest ecology and forestry economics. I need to call my grandparents and ask them where their parents were buried because I couldn’t find out on google.

I found an amazing blog this morning after investigating a like on my last post. I just want to say I thoroughly appreciate this form of expression. I don’t know how to describe it but I think it’s awesome. For the last couple days I was thinking about if I want to link my other blog here. Enjoying The Retired Brain this morning has motivated me to go ahead and do it. It’s a little bit out there and I haven’t written anything for Dorothy Mantooth in a long time. I want to focus mostly on this blog, but I hope to be inspired to continue making contributions to the other blog.

I made hummus and prepared some lunch for my partner. We had relationship counseling today. It went pretty well. I’m learning that a lot of the things I don’t like about interactions in our relationship are because of my partner’s insecurities. My partner is used to the obligation of providing domestic services to former partners and is sometimes motivated by the same feelings towards me. For example, the act of preparing breakfast or lunch in the morning is sometimes motivated by the feeling of fear that I’ll be disappointed if that doesn’t happen. Today I realized that the best thing I could be doing is to be supportive during those moments that I sense my partner is being motivated by fear and anxiety. By being disappointed in the very act that was conducted to avoid my disappointment, I am likely adding a layer of insecurity to my partners already complicated relationship structure—instead of accomplishing my desire of helping to get past the pre-existing insecurities. Easier said than done. But I know I can do it and I continue to work on it.

I called the doggie daycare again this afternoon and left a third voicemail. I also decided to send them an email this evening. Finally got a reply through email. They said that when I gave them my availability for an interview and it didn’t match my availability from my job application they decided to move on to the next applicant. I guess if I was hiring people it’s possible I would make decisions like that. Now I know to pay more attention to that. Normally I wouldn’t care about something like this. If they’re too busy to consider me because I’m not spending every moment waiting—without having a job offer—it seems likely that the actual employment might be a little over-demanding. But damn it, I was excited about that job! I did a some job searching today. My partner found another dog boarding place just a couple miles down the road. They aren’t actively hiring right now but you never know. I want to do another round of job applications this weekend.

I thought a little bit more about managing a doggie daycare. I would like to find a business partner to launch that. But I can do things like prepare a business plan by myself. I also thought more about getting an degree in animal behavior. I think I found a good school but it’s far away (thousands of miles) and more than I can afford right now with currently available financial aid.

I spent awhile doing practice EKG strips. I feel ready for the test tomorrow.

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2 Responses to Counseling

  1. Dirk L says:

    I have been at your great grandparents’ grave in Randall.

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